Welcome to the Funcave

what a day for a daydream…

what a day for a daydreamin’ boy…

wavy lines denoting dream sequence

this first part will involve some audience participation, so here goes:

please raise your hand if you are a registered microsoft partner

ok, great. lots & lots of hands out there.

now, please keep your hand up if you are a subscriber to microsoft’s action pack. if you aren’t…please put your hand down.

wow. lots of folks.

now…for all of you with your hands down…if you are a subscriber to action pack, please raise your hand.

congratulations! all of you have just stated that you are not a registered partner, but do have a subscription to action pack. you are therefore violating the terms of service for the action pack. those deputies coming your way are about to audit all the systems at your business, plus all your clients’ systems, plus your mother’s, plus your brother’s.

ok…while that’s happening, let’s keep going, shall we?

all of you with your hands still in the air…

registered partners who subscribe to the action pack, right? good good. now keep ‘em up there.

those of you who implemented at least 10 servers for clients last year…

go right ahead to the vip reception through those doors on the right. a host or hostess will be around to escort you there in proper fashion.

now those of you who implemented at least 5 servers for clients last year…

time for you to head into the reception. a host or hostess will greet you at the door.

and finally…

those of your who implemented at least 1 server for 1 client…

y’all can go on in. try not to trample anybody.

now…

let’s see who’s left.

wow. wowwee wow wow wow.

look at all…those…hands.

so let me ask you a question…

just what kind of business are you?

more to the point…

what in the name of all that is holy & good in this world are you doing with a subscription to the action pack?

you have implemented exactly zero server solutions for anyone. so what do you do? do you advise anyone who is not a relative of yours on system purchases? do you build systems? do you perhaps clean out roller ball mouses for a living, at least?

or are you a construction company? or an engineering firm? or a cabinetry shop?*

guess what? you are in violation of the terms of service of the license agreement for the action pack.

and due to the flagrant nature of the violation…

in which you basically lied when asked whether your primary line of business was recommending, advising or implementing technology systems for other businesses…

your fines are gonna start at 250K smackeroos per software product per installation on any machine you own, rent, lease, or otherwise use in the course of your business’ operations, including employees’ home machines.

of course, all that equipment, software, data & anything else associated with it, including any & all backups will be immediately seized by agents as evidence.

that’s ok tho. you do have hard copies of all your data records, right?

thank you for your participation in the microsoft action pack program. goodbye.

wavy lines

whoa…what a strange dream i just had.

someone…

me, in fact…

was actually trying to identify & validate whether folks were eligible for the partner program…

more specifically, the action pack.

imagine that.

|| posted by chris under it pro, opinion, thumbs down || comments (2) || ||