Tomorrow at 4p EST in the Georgia Dome (broadcast on CBS), the Crimson Tide and the Florida handbags will crown the SEC champion, and effectively determine the NCAA national champion as well.
To commemorate the occasion, from the home office in Gordo, Alabama, the top 10 reasons the University of Florida picked their colors…
10. Glare completely hides Gainesville from human sight.
9. Who wouldn’t want to look like a walking box of Frosted Flakes?
8. Florida had the last pick in the SEC, right after LSU.
7. Makes UF fans more visible during drive-by shootings.
6. Acts like camoflauge to NCAA refs. Especially when holding, late-hitting, or eye-gouging.
5. Bobbled catches look like completions against that eye-warping background of orange and blue.
4. If they’re good enough for Clorox, they’re good enough for people who choose to live in a swamp.
3. Figured the Oregon Ducks could use some competition for “Lamest Uniform” award.
2. Color-blind friendliness means they care about inclusiveness for their inbred fanbase and alumni.
1. Helps Florida players feel right at home in prison orange.