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April 1, 2007

truth in advertising

i’m already on record as to my stance regarding april 1

when the cures are worse than the diseases

so no…

this is not a joke, kiddos.

best get your patching house in order & under control…

because the main security threat you need to worry about now is the dreck being sent down the pipe from redmond & being dumped directly to your servers.

|| posted by chris under clueless, mothership, thumbs down || comments (0) || ||

March 19, 2007

same great content…but now with actual delivery!

we all knew this was coming…

but microsoft just slammed the door on every other small business conference out there.

their 2nd small business summit is an absolutely astounding achievement!

'do you know how to use google?' = best pwnag3 of ms in its own conference center EVAR!

they definitely had the content at the first one last year, but the execution & logistics were, as guy kawasaki might have termed them…


but that was then…

this is now!

microsoft made this year a drop-dead simple operation. no complicated logins. no disconnection problems or video & audio dropouts.

they even added a caption box, which runs closed captioning of the current session. that’s just one simple little addition, but one which opens this entire series up to both folks with hearing impairments & also people who can’t blast audio in their office. 

here’s the impact of this type of thing…

just this morning, from my desk here at the funcave master complex, i’ve been able to hear the coo of the largest software company in the world, the founder of a multi-million dollar business that she started in her basement, & prolly the most well-known technology evangelist/pundit in the industry.

all of them talking directly about issues that my business & my customers’ businesses are facing.

this isn’t a bunch of half-baked things that someone might have heard about from someone on a damn web forum.

i won’t say this summit is free because it actually does cost my time & attention, which is a very real cost to my business…

but it for sure isn’t expecting me to pony up for travel, lodging & registration to hear the same old tired crap that has either been covered ad nauseum in white papers or webcasts that i could easily download & watch for free on my lunch hour.

and as such, this summit totally destroys the value prop of 99% of the the tripe that’s being shovelled in the smb space right now, desperately trying to pass itself off as something offering compelling value, but in reality can be learned by anyone who can read the e-myth or 1 of about a dozen other business books.

so good luck to all the jimmy joe bob conferences, associations, initiatives & consortiums out there…

you’ll need it!

|| posted by chris under business, freebie, mothership, thumbs up || comments (1) || ||

March 2, 2007

welcome to the v3 hotfix for tzmove.exe

that’s right kiddos.

in an amazing lack of foresight & planning…

the ability to determine what calendar items were created pre-dst 2007 patch & which were created post-dst 2007 patch was amazingly not included in the tzmove.exe application.

oh, but don’t worry, susan

now there’s a hotfix! with a 14 page kb article to boot!

who fracking coded this? redmond’s janitor?

now, keep in mind…

since both the end-user & the exchange server rebasing methods both use tzmove.exe, when it comes to navigating the deadly straits known as the dst 2007 changes…

the integrity of all your exchange data rests upon this little tzmove executable!

which, quite frankly, stinks.

all i can say to exchange admins everywhere…

welcome to the funcave!

|| posted by chris under clueless, mothership, thumbs down, time || comments (1) || ||

March 2, 2007

scratching your nose with a sledgehammer


that’s what the dst patches from ms feel like.

here’s what a small sampling of my customers have said about the way dst updates & info were released from microsoft…

what were they thinking?

were they thinking?

who in their right mind would release this kind of stuff?

haven’t they known about this for a couple of years?

what were they doing for 2 years?

are they insane?

sure, we could all just throw off on politicians & their half-baked ideas that always seem to manifest as capricious changes to stuff like dst.

but that still doesn’t change the fact that ms has totally & utterly acted like an ostrich with its head in the sand regarding dst.

according to some folks, exchange is mothership’s flagship product.

i’d argue that redmonds’ real flagship products are white papers, faqs & patches, but i digress.

either way, hearing ms talk about the centrality of exchange 2007 makes the cockamamie level of support for dst changes on previous versions all the more confusing. if i wanted to sell customers my newest version, the very last thing i’d do would be to leave them hanging out to dry with the current version they are running. all that will do is make them start looking for alternatives.

here’s what i’d argue is the real-world experience of most companies. if there is any patch management going on, it looks like this:

  • server(s) set for either notify only or don’t update
  • workstations set for automatically update

since ms flagged the dst updates as critical, those workstations got the patch automagically, as soon as it was released a couple of weeks or so ago, right?

so loooooong before exchange had been updated at the back-end server level, in all likelihood the end clients had started laying in appointments that were correctly based.

then along comes the admin, to load the patches on the server & rebase the calendars.

since the end-user patch process wasn’t correctly timed…

& this update, above all others, is hideously time sensitive…

when either rebasing tool is run, the resultant mix of basing that occurred after the client side patches were loaded means the changes that get applied to calendars are the rough equivalent of what happens to a watermelon that gets loaded into the iconic sledgeomatic.


add to this the fact that rebasing, no matter what tool you use, is a one-shot deal.

so no matter what the outcome, you’re stuck with it.

that’s pitiful.

so, from the robot horde at the funlab…

good luck kiddos.

we’re all gonna need it.

|| posted by chris under funlab, mothership, thumbs down, time || comments (0) || ||

February 5, 2007

what’s wrong with this picture?

ever feel like you’re the subject of one of those what’s wrong with this picture? pictures?

i’ll bet stevie b. does after this little gem.

the new york times has a photo series titled keeping track of steve ballmer posted & boy is it a doozy!

2 pictures in particular caught my eye.

keeping your back to the door. total ballsy move.

it’s amazing what you can tell about a person from their surroundings, especially when they have some control over it.

obviously, no one else other than him ever goes in there.

seriously…there’s no barrier to the desk from the door. no extra chairs that you can see, nor any room for extra chairs. and he obviously has no fear of placing his back to the door. most executives would only do this if they were absolutely sure they would never be surprised.

the office is generally asture, from the perspective of overall decoration. there’s no fancy coordination of textures, fabrics & furniture.

but judging from what is in there, it’s obviously a very personal place. lots of pictures. an entire bulletin board filled with kids’ drawings.

that speaks volumes, right there.

let’s go on to the next picture…

doc...are you telling me you built a time machine!?

wow…where to begin on this one.

working lunch, at the desk. broccoli largely untouched. so he knows he should eat better…prolly hears it from the wife & his doctor all the time…but is a meat & potatoes guy at heart.

definitely can tell that the view is important to him. 2 out of 4 walls are glass…but he prolly wishes he could get that to 3 out of 4.

but the really telling thing? just look at the tech on display here…

  • corded ms keyboard, circa 1994.
  • corded optical mouse, circa 1998. no mousepad, save for a printed page from an outlook calendar, presumably his. of course, the caption for the first pic mentions he tracks his calendar using excel. so maybe not his, after all.
  • single lcd display, circa 2002.
  • super-thin ibm thinkpad with docking station. no way that thing would run vista.

and a phone, of course.

but, like the other view of that office…

fairly asture. nothing fancy. utilitarian, at best. seriously. that office could be the office of your average high school guidance counselor or assistant principal right there.

so all of you who are always running out, beside yourself to always have the latest whizzbang & greatest whatsit…

look at how stevie b. is rolling right there, like he was on little house on the prairie or something.

in the immortal words of mr. spock…


how much cheese do you think ms generates in a year? now how much do you generate?


the best drug dealers never touch their own product.

stay frosty kiddos.

|| posted by chris under business, epiphany, mothership, opinion || comments (1) || ||

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